Cooking Fail – hamburgers

burger fail

For some reason, I just cannot grill a consistent hamburger. Sometimes, they turn out great. Other times, they’re just miserable. This is one of those times.

I started out by baking a batch of pretzel rolls. They looked good. And they tasted good. But for some reason, they turned out really dense. I think I need to use less flour. And the rolls were too big, too.

too-big pretzel rolls

Next, I was thinking that I would get fancy and grill up some veggies to use as toppings. I bought this lovely heirloom tomato and thought it would grill up sweet and full of concentrated tomato flavor. Instead, the grilled slices just turned to mush. And they tasted like nothing. I also sliced up some red onion and red peppers. They tasted just fine, but were better on the side rather than on the burger.

tomato wasted

The next thing I did wrong was to manage to cook the burgers till well done. This makes hamburger taste bad. And it exacerbated the meat to bun ratio problem.

insurmountable burger

 Not only was the bun too big and the burger dense, the whole thing just ended up taking on preposterous preportions. I tried to smash everything down so I could take a bite, and as soon as I did, the whole thing slid out from the bun, like popping a huge, meat flavored zit.

Plus, I forgot to add cheese. And when you eat a pretzel bun, you need cheese. Something yellow. I later added some munster and a big dollop of spicy mustard, and it really helped things along. But by the end of the meal, I had to give up trying to eat it as a hamburger and had to attack it like an open face sandwich. At least I was full at the end of it all.


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One response to “Cooking Fail – hamburgers

  1. Pingback: We’re Pregnant! | cookingkos

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